Choosing Authenticity - Faithfully & Fearlessly
I received two key messages during competition week the year I won Miss Wisconsin 2014…
One message was about faith and the other was about authenticity. Both played equally important roles in my mentality as I vied for the crown. These values also helped me hold my head high throughout any difficulties during my reigning year. Without faith and being true to myself I would not have achieved success then or in my life now.
Faith was the topic of my on-stage question during preliminary competition. The word – in both definition and practice - became a significant theme woven throughout the week.
“What does ‘faith’ mean to you?”
My response was very simple… Faith means believing in something greater than yourself. (I’m pretty sure I said some other stuff too. But that’s the gist.)
The very next night my mom sent a gift to my dressing area backstage. It was a small white teddy bear with angel wings appropriately named “Faith”. The implication was obvious to me… I couldn’t control the outcome of the competition, and that’s okay. Instead, I had to believe that I was capable and worthy of the honor of being Miss Wisconsin. I needed to focus on my ability to do the job and let go of everything I couldn’t control. What will be, will be.
Side note: please don’t mistake this short overview of my experience as an indication that I wasn’t nervous, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, etc., because I certainly had bits of all of that during the competition. No one is perfect. But practicing faith is actively choosing not to let the roller-coaster of emotions prevent us from moving toward everything we want in life. I’ve been on that ride many times and it’s where I’ve suffered with the most regret.
Which, leads me to the second key message of the week…
This one came from my sister. She sent me a beautiful letter on the final night of competition. Her words were compelling and uplifting. Not surprising, since she is an incredibly thoughtful person. What stood out most and has stuck with me ever since, was the anonymous quote at the end:
“Be fearlessly authentic.”
The message was so simple. Three words that basically summed up everything I was striving to do and be throughout competition week. Share my passion and pure, unapologetic desire for the job of Miss Wisconsin…Put it all out there...Don’t hold back…Leave it all on the stage. The rest would be up to the judges [insert faith here].
The flood gates opened as soon as I finished reading. Goodbye makeup. See ya later, eyelashes. (Great timing, right?) We were just about to step into the back hallway for the traditional prayer before each evening performance. So, I pulled myself together and got focused.
What I wanted was so clear in my mind. I could see it, feel it, taste it. I just needed to believe in myself and share my heart unapologetically. That’s truly all I could control.
We can’t control what the judges are thinking, or how the other contestants perform, or if there’s a technical issue with our music or the microphone. In general, we can’t control what happens to us. However, we can control how we prepare, how we think, and how we react.
I achieved my goal of becoming Miss Wisconsin that night and I look back on it with gratitude and pride.
Now, let’s be very clear – just because I had faith in myself and knew I could win, not once did I think I would win no matter what. I believed I was capable of winning, not that I was a shoo-in.
It’s important not to mistake faith or fearless authenticity with arrogance. I’ve gone down the arrogance road before and was deeply disappointed – first in the outcome, and then in myself. But that’s a story for another blog post.
On a similar chain of thought, faith does not replace humility. Faith and humility work in tandem, which is ultimately how we achieve authenticity. Consequently, practicing humility does not mean we need to tear ourselves down to stay humble. I’ve been down that road too and it only led to pain and shame – nowhere near authenticity. Again, to be continued some other time.
Put the work in, ask for help, have faith in yourself, maintain humility, and always share your heart as fearlessly and authentically as you can. It’s not easy, but it is possible, and I guarantee it will be the difference between success and regret.
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
