We broke the pie sections down based on the average percentage of time each activity took up of my waking hours.

For instance, we marked down a half hour in the morning for getting ready for school, eight hours at school, and an hour and a half after school at my part time job. Then I would go to the dance studio and do some assistant teaching, join my own dance classes until 10:00pm, and finally, finish all my homework before going to sleep.

This pie chart was meant to show me how much time I had to myself during the day.

I should explain that “time to myself” included the getting ready in the AM, dance classes, and homework time… So, I had A TON of time to myself… *Insert eye-rolling emoji here*

Maybe my mom was trying to show me that my daily schedule didn’t leave much room for myself outside of my responsibilities. If that’s the case, the lesson completely went over my head. And it may have inaccurately taught me that many of my daily responsibilities, or the things I HAD to do like school, work, homework, etc. were part of my “me time”.

Perhaps work and school are included in your you-time, and that’s ok if it is filling your cup. However, a more fundamental lesson for me in high school would have been how to manage my time so I could afford to add in some quality self-care; the leisurely activities that are not entrenched in the “have-tos” or the “shoulds” we face every day of our lives.

It’s taken me a long time to retrain my brain to understand that I NEED daily free time that does not include things I “should” or “have to” do. Instead, choosing to spend a small slice or, better yet, a good chunk of my daily pie doing things that are beneficial for my overall wellness – i.e. self-care.

Let’s talk about self-care.

What is self-care? What does self-care look like? How do we achieve optimal benefits from self-care? Are there different types of activities that we can include in self-care?

Sometimes the self-care I'm doing isn’t making me feel better. This usually happens to me when I'm struggling with depression or I'm experiencing severe anxiety.

That said, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to intentional self-care lately. Am I really getting the full benefits from my self-care time? If not, how can I adjust in the moment or recognize what activities I can do that will help me instead?

For example, I know working out is good for me in a lot of ways, especially for my mental health. However, working out is not always the best choice for me.

A few weeks ago, on a particularly stressful day I chose to do one of favorite workout videos from BeachBody on Demand. To no fault of the lovely Elise and her Barre Blend workout, I ended up feeling worse when I was done rather than better. Working out was not what my mind and body needed at the time.

Recognizing what we need to do to take care of ourselves is half the battle. Arguably, the other half is allowing ourself to enjoy self-care without feeling guilty – more on that in a future post.

So, what are some self-care activities we can choose from?

I like to look at self-care in various tiers – from typical daily activities that help our world go round with minimal bumps, to more critical practices that are essential for our overall wellness.

Tier 1 - Daily self-care activities (sometimes these can feel like chores, but non-the-less are still necessary for self-care):

• Making our bed in the morning – one of the easiest ways to feel like we’ve already accomplished something first thing. It can do wonders for continued productivity.
• Clearing the clutter in our environment – this can mean our kitchen, bedroom, office, etc.
• Drinking enough water – hydration is important for optimal brain function. Try drinking water in the afternoon when you’re feeling sluggish instead of more caffeine which can lead to another energy crash.
• Eating nutritious food – fueling our body fuels our brain. No one enjoys being hangry!
• Taking a long hot shower – this can be relaxing and the white noise from the running water can help calm our nerves.
• Putting makeup on – look good, feel good! Need I say more?

Some of these things that might sound like chores can be considered a way of taking care of ourselves because we are doing what we need to be at our best for the entire day.

I think it’s also important to mention I don’t have children. And I imagine some of the activities above may be much more appreciated for parents and might feel more like tier two self-care. It’s something I try to keep in mind for future Raeanna.

Tier 2 - The next level is actively making sure we are taking time to do things we enjoy:

• Take a bubble bath.
• Reading a book or a magazine we like.
• Meditate, work out, or do yoga.
• Go for a walk.
• Watch a movie or favorite TV show.
• Take a nap.
• Artistic activities: Painting, dancing, pottery, playing an instrument.
• Spend time with a friend.
• Go shopping for fun.

The key here is to choose something that will fill your cup, not deplete you. This should be enjoyable and help you find balance in your day. This level of self-care involves things you WANT to do, not HAVE to or SHOULD do. Be careful about that word “should.” I’ll continue to remind you.

Tier 3 - Finally, the more acute level of self-care:

• 
  
• See a therapist regularly.
• Take a mental health day.
• Go on a vacation.
• Take daily anti-anxiety/depression medications if/as prescribed

I’m sure there are other examples of self-care that we can add to these lists. If you think of something to add please leave a comment below! I’m always looking to try new ways of taking care of myself.

Life can get really busy and stressful. We tend to overfill our pie chart with things we have to do and don’t leave enough room for things we want and need to do for our own well-being. If we’re not taking care of ourselves, we can’t be at our best. Let’s work on balancing our priorities and making sure self-care is at the top of that list.